a girl named dee

This girl came into my life on 2000. i get to know her around 2001. and we start dating by august second 2002 until around march 2005. yeah right. i spend 2 and a half year with her. not a waste if i comment on that moment. alot of happy things happened while we're together. but in the end, we broke up. actually i really don't remember why we broke up. (you should believe this. cause everytime i said to somebody that i forgot why we broke up, they never believe). this past month, i started to hang out again with her. knowing that i still can't get her out of my head. actually, being with her is not so much fun for now. i need to pretend as somebody else. and there is no closeness between us. well maybe i hoped too much, knowing that we're just friends. but the problem is i want us to be more than friends. why? i don't know. a friend of mine told me that i don't want to forget her because i haven't found a new one. finding a new one is another problem for me. not that i can't. but it's a matter of is't what i want. she were special. i don't know is she still a special to me..... i still don't understand. a friend told me that being with her is a bad idea because of her attitude toward me are not so nice. yeah i think that is something that i need to think of. she didn't treat me well i admit that. hmmm well enough for me i guess but not like other girl. but she's not another girl. she is dee. the girl i was planning to spend the rest of my life with. God must have reason why He made us meet. but i haven't found the reason. oh God. i really need that reason now.... why after all this time i still spend some time with her? and why can't i just ignore her? or at least treat her as usual friend? i guess i need help with this. everytime i go out with her, i always making a list of things that i don't like bout her. and i found a lot of things that are nice bout her. actually she's not nice at all. yeah. SHE IS NOT NICE AT ALL. i should print this sentence is a big letter and put it in my room....... what a pathetic and a sad live i have.........

The Sinking of The Ark

now i'm talking bout my friends. this blog is gonna be soooo long. hehe. too many stories bout them.
i know my best friend while i'm in junior high. but we become best friend starting around senior high. and still friends till now. well thats from my point of view. don't know if it's from him. max is the name we'll use for him in this blog. another friend called Kay and Jay. they we're best friends from elementary school. the 4 of us become a very nice party. we hang out, spend useless time together. fight and argue bout so many thing but we always and us as a buch of guy that are still friends. untill one day........
max got another friend called Rey. they were friends and always together from junior high, senior high, and college. Rey said that one of his neighbour enter the same faculty with them.
the next day, Rey said that he saw a cute girl in campus. the third day he bring another stories. he said that the cute girl she saw in campus is his neighbour. and starting from that point, he start hitting on her. by the way, her nick name for this girl is Niq. she also have a full team of friendship. the member are Fleur, and V.
since the hitting session started, my team and the girls team are getting closer and start to bonding each other. by that time,me and V already got a lover. and the others aren't. it's very obvious that rey is hitting on Niq. and at the same time, Kay is also interested with Niq. so, they got a silent competition. (a silent competition is a competition that we aren't sure that the participant know that they are competing. thats according to my definition that i made up myself. huehuehe). and Max is interested with Fleur. time over time Rey got himself a girl. yeah, he had complished his mission on getting Niq to date with her. Kay had lost. and i guess he need a bucket to throw everything he fell. and Fleur is the bucket. one thing led to another, they Dated. but, few weeks before that, Jay start hitting on Fleur. at this time things are getting more complicated...........
knowing that the condition are complicated, i gathered them all in my place by sending the message "/hp" it means help for ragnarok. that night, we talk and drank and talk and argue and fight. that night ended with 2 of us bleeding and throw up for drinking too much. and max still said " I'm not drunk". stupid ebony bastard......

My Family

I have the best family ever. well, thats what i think. i guess everybody who is satisfied with their family would say that their family are the best family. so i guess i can conclude that you know that i''m satisfied with them. altrough i'm satiffied with them, my family aren't perfect. my parents divorced when i was a kid. then my father marry a widow with one son. and change his nationality to an australian. me, my mom and my only brother, continue our life in jakarta. strugle for a spoonfull of rice. but things have gone getting better and better. and here we are. my brother have merried with a fine woman. they have 2 cute daughters. usually they live in the same neighborhood with me. but for the last month, my brother got a job in australia. so, he's moving to australia. alone. and according to his plan, his family will join him in australia in the next 2 months. and continue to live there for a better life and opportunity. in the meantime, my mom just got back from the states for 4 months (3 months working and 1 months vacation). now she's here with me. doing nothing else then cooking, grocerie shopping, and connected to the internet. this kind of condition makes my family got no income. cause my mom's already retired and i'm not even graduate. this problem makes me learn not to have child after i'm 30. but i guess i'm gonna let that happend. haha.......

Prolog

Me, My self and I
I was born in the middle of a nice family by the first quarter of 1985. actually, i don't remember very much bout my early live. thats because i live normally just like a normal boy would be. except for the few thing that i'll tell you guys in my next post.

Now, I'm 21 years old. I live just with my mom. and I almost finish my studies for production and process engineering diploma. but i guess i'll continue my study to achieve my bachelor degree for the next 2 years. and someday i hope that i can die in a respectable way.