New Year Resolution

The Resolution i'm gonna do for the upcoming year.

1. Track all my Income and Expenses. make a financial report every month. started as the year start.
2. Save 10 % of all my Income. and another 10% for all my leisure expenses. (all expenses minus household and mom). started as the year start
3. Seperate the moods between Work, School, Friends, Love, and Home. talk about it is okay. but don't change your mood accordingly. should be done before the end of 2008.
4. Graduated for my bachelor degree. means no delay on any campus issues. do everything in the 4th semester. should be done around august 2008
5. understand that time is a very valuable resouces. so spend it wisely. you can always earn money, but not time. so really, spend it Wisely. started as soon as possible.
6. Make sure that you're clean when you jump into the bed. started as soon as possible
7. Make sure that you'll never be late for anything. (office it the most significant one). started as soon as possible
8. Never lie to your loved again. they have the rights to know the truth. this include, mom, her, friends, brother, and yourself. started as soon as possible.
9. Fixed my work performance. do the important things, track everything. the worst note is still better than the best memory. also organised the computer and files. also started as soon as possible.
10. Searching is a waste of time. so organize everything so you don't need to search for anything. 3 minutes tops for searching. also started as soon as possible.

I guess 10 resolution is more than enough already.

make it happened and you'll be able to become a better person.

The Job that Pays my Expences

It's one day before the end of this year. the time to do some reflection on this 2007.

Where should i started? maybe started with my CV? well, my cv seems okay for this year. i mean, it couldn't be any better.
So i finished my diploma in 2006. suceed my defence on 08.08.2006 to be exact. the following month i start working at this small company named PT. Winindo Karya Dinamika. the managing director (also owner) is an old friend of my Dad. (should i say something about him in this blog??) and an Ex boss of my brother. Darwin Tanoto. former vice president of the ABB sakti Industri. a very big compay. subsidiary of the ABB. ater a while, i'm a Project Coordinator there. not so sure wether it's because i'm able to do that, or because Darwin have no other options. Working there give me alot of experience. i do lots of things i've never imagine i'll ever did. Anyway, a friend from work offer me a Job in his division in SIEMENS . i really think i should underline the company name. hahahaha. (for you who know some about my work, pelase note that this guy is not my Senior, not Deni. it's someone else). estimation division. i think i can do that. i ve done that for some of Winindo's projects. and you should guess the Salary they offer me. well, for a guy my age, it's very huge. i've never thought that i might have that kind of salary with present conditions. it's just i'm so proud of it. even it's only an offer. hahahahah.
anyway, back about my CV, I'm working in the Electrical Industries Drives and Automation to be exact. i myself spend most of my time in the Pulp and Paper division. yeah for real. the first project i do is to change the drive system of a Pulp dryer machine. it belongs to IKPP. a pulp and paper company belongs to the Sinar Mas Group. my main Job is actually nothing else than Helping the Project Coordinator aka Glenn Dharmin. (i'm gonna spend some time talking about this guy). Well helping him is not hard. just do some small things he asked. but the problem is he's not a good project Coordinator. he keep track of nothing. not even the commisioning date. yeah he understand the pulp and paper process. but still....... lack of management skill. anyway, i didn't do alot for the project. to be honest, i just make some schedule, managing the logistics, paperwork, designing the Fiber optic layer (the maching is so damn big. it takes about 10 minutes just to walk around it. , what can you expect? it's pulp dryer. not a rewinding machine......). the fiber optic layer is not that complicated actually. but the Glenn guy made it so complicated. yeah being bullshited by the supplier. so we ended with the wrong type of cable, with so many unused cores, complex configuration. and a big pile of cost. the thing i learn from this projects is the basic paper process. (when i said basic, i mean really basic. i don't even know how the pulp move from the wire roll to the pick up roll. which is now, i know about it), some PLC stuff from the Schneider Electric. the Blue Telemecanique. it's actually a Modicon PLC. still using the old Concept programming. also some about fieldbus (limited to Profibus and Canbus). Citect SCADA Programming, and the main thing, Vacon Drive. even though we didn't do such a good thing about it, the User aka Michael Chin (a chinese malaysians) seems okay about our performance. and the funny thing about this guy is, Glenn is the Project Coordinator and i'm the Assistant Project Coordinator, but Michael Chin always talk to me about everything even Glenn is right beside him. it's the greatest pleasure in that project.
after the project, i also design, and Collect the Documentation for the Whole Project. i't's 5 binders. and i don't even think that anyone will ever read it. i myself, only keep the last 2 binder which according to me, the only important part of the project.
after that project finished, i started to work on the Quotation of two paper projects. one is with the Pindo Deli Pulp and Paper. also belong to Sinarmas Group. this machine is very old. they buy it secondhanded and built it around the sixties. ant the other is a security paper machine. this one not belons to the sinarmas group. both sucseed. so i got the Project Coordinator for the Pindo Deli and Control Engineer for the Security paper. suddenly, i feel bored talking about my job. so i'm gonna post it. and finish it some other time, in some other posting.

Coming Back

Damn, it's almost a year since my last post. i must've been really busy that i forgot about this blog thing. anyway, how's things going on right now? i myself didn't change too much. still the same big fat loser with no money... (what the hell is wrong with my self esteem???). okay, this time i'm not gonna talk about anything. just want to freshen up a little bit.
well, maybe i can give you a brief of what happened with my life lately...... the number one is the girl i've been dreaming of. yeah, that dee girl. i think i'm gonna be a big loser by the end of this year. cause i failed on my resolution? well i think i'm gonna failed. hahahah. i got closer with her each day. not in a boyfriend-girlfriend thing, but i don't really care about it. i know it's hard on us to put such a thing like commitment. so, here we are. just try to go with the flow. well, thats from my point of view. i don't know from hers.
now, talk about my family. my mom is still home with me. healthy and happy as she is. my bro stayed in aussie with the wife and daughters. hope i can also move there in a year or two. thats all? so short when i talk bout my family.... what's wrong with me......
my friends?? well maybe i can say friend. i guess that max is the only friend that worth mentioned in this blog heh? what happened with the other? just wait for the next post. i'm still thinking bout them.
about me?? in a brief, i'm not so happy. i didn't got problems that i can't solve. it's just that my live seems a little bit boring. talk bout this also in another time..... now, i think i'm going to sleep. got exam today. programming....... when did industrial engineers have to do C programming????

The new Year

I started this year with a very big hope and few resolution. One of my resolution is to get her out of my head, my heart, and my life. it's not a hard thing to do. just give me a few of fantastic girl that meet my requirement and she'll be gone forever. well, actually thats what i hope.

anyway, i've spent 3 days in this year (that only passed 3 days) thinking bout her. This 3 days are filled with so many sweet memories with her. the way she treat me, the time we spend together. and a deep thinking about why all of this thing supposed to happened. yeah that's still a big Question on my head. WHY DID WE BREAK UP??? damn, it's so hard to answer. i kinda got the feeling that there are still some things deep inside her. and there are still big things inside of me. well, maybe not have the feeling. more like have the hope. a part of my heart told me that she's hurted because i break up with her. if that is the reason, i really hope that we can be together again. some people say that she's using me. well i didn't say no to that. but everybody are using me. either it's my skills or my car or everything i got. but i guess thats not a problem. life is not a one way street. it's about giving what you have and getting what you want. every sales are made with marketing cost. and it's the same as in the relationship. the point is how to get the most of what you want with the least thing to do. giiiii i never know that i might think like this..... is this really me? i sounded so bad. anyway, back to the point, rite now i'm really thinking bout the reason why we break up and why we can't be together again. hei, wait a minute, i already figured that she's the one that don't want to be together again. so now the quest is to find out why she don't want me anymore. it's not because of the car. she's not that bad. and don't you put things like that in your head.

a deeper post bout her.

recently i recieve comments on "a girl named dee". andwhen i posted it, a really good friend of mine said that i'm dishonest withmyself and i haven't extract all the feelings inside it. well i admit that he's right. i didn't express it completely. dee herself read it and comment "so i'm not good at all heh?" hehe i guess what i wrote there give a little effects on her. actually there are too many subject to talk bout her. maybe i'm gonna create a blog just to talk bout her. but i'm sure noone will want to read bout it. except max and herself. well maybe her future boyfriend.......
i'm not good at all in expressing feelings..... so i guess i'll let bon jovi do it for me.... heheheh........ at first, bon jovi did express my feelings very nice in "never say goodbye". that make the song as one of our favourite song. but later on, we did say goodbye. that makes the lyric isn't right anymore. and it also change the way i love her. and again, bon jovi has made a very nice job on "Always". yeah. thats how i feel bout her now.

This romeo is bleeding

But you can't see his blood

It's nothing but some feelings

That this old dog kicked up

w

It's been raining since you left me

Now I'm drowning in the flood

You see I've always been a fighter

But without you I give up

w

Now I can't sing a love song

Like the way it's meant to be Well,

I guess I'm not that good anymore

But baby, that's just me

w

And I will love you, baby - Always

And I'll be there forever and a day - Always

I'll be there till the stars don't shine

Till the heavens burst and The words don't rhyme

And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind

And I'll love you - Always

w

Now your pictures that you left behind

Are just memories of a different life

Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry

One that made you have to say goodbye

w

What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair

To touch your lips, to hold you near

When you say your prayers try to understand

I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

w

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near

When he says the words you've been needing to hear

I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine

To say to you till the end of time

w

If you told me to cry for you I could

If you told me to die for you I would

Take a look at my face

There's no price I won't pay

w

To say these words to you

Well, there ain't no luck

In these loaded dice

But baby if you give me just one more try

w

We can pack up our old dreams

And our old lives

We'll find a place where the sun still shines

The choice is upon me

Here I am. In the finish line of my diploma. Continuing to achieve my bachelor is not an option. I have to do it. hahahha. Well the choice that is upon me is the way I make money.

• choice one is as simple as usual. Get a job, be a good employee and have your paycheck by the end of the months.
• the second choice is a little difficult. i work as a freelancer. got money when there is a chance. and be a loser when there is no chance.

the choice seems simple. it is simple if you know what you want with your life. for me, it's a little complicated. i dedicated my life for people i love. that means family and friends. actually they have nothing to do with this. no matter how i make money, they will always be my friends and family. as long as i do it in a good way.

so, basicly i'm a lazy man. just like Robert Kiyosaki refers to himself. a lazy fat man who like to spend the morning in the bed, and the evening eating pork. so, in order to do that, there are few things i need to do.

1. first of all, i need to build a bussiness that can run without my presence. and that means i'm gonna need a good system. which i don't have right now. well there are few thought here and there. but still not good enough.
2. second of all, in order to build that kind of bussiness, i need to collect some capital.

i was thinking about being a freelancer to collect the money first then start my own company. or i can work at a company then after finish my bachelor i can start my company. but if we count. toyota will give a diploma 3 holder for about 2 m per months. lets say that i can save for about 750k per months. in 2 years i only got 18m. it's not gonna enough for my own company. and that means having a job is really not an option. now i know what i'm gonna do. haha this blog thing is so nice........

The Finish line of my diploma

few days ago, i crossed the finish line of my diploma studies. yeah. now i'm a diploma 3 holder. not too proud. actually i'm a little ashamed bout it. all my friend go for bachelor. anyway, i'm making this project for my thesis. quite a big one i guess. and it works really nice and all of the user like it. but once again me and my big mouth cause me into trouble. yeah. I told the manager that i can create a more powerfull program. it's just i don't have enough time. now he give me some time to develop the program. it's not that i don't want to do it. it's just i don't see any money coming out of it. should i do it for free? maybe i can do that........ hmmmmm that gonna be a good advertisement for my clients......... okay then i'll do it. haha.

a girl named dee

This girl came into my life on 2000. i get to know her around 2001. and we start dating by august second 2002 until around march 2005. yeah right. i spend 2 and a half year with her. not a waste if i comment on that moment. alot of happy things happened while we're together. but in the end, we broke up. actually i really don't remember why we broke up. (you should believe this. cause everytime i said to somebody that i forgot why we broke up, they never believe). this past month, i started to hang out again with her. knowing that i still can't get her out of my head. actually, being with her is not so much fun for now. i need to pretend as somebody else. and there is no closeness between us. well maybe i hoped too much, knowing that we're just friends. but the problem is i want us to be more than friends. why? i don't know. a friend of mine told me that i don't want to forget her because i haven't found a new one. finding a new one is another problem for me. not that i can't. but it's a matter of is't what i want. she were special. i don't know is she still a special to me..... i still don't understand. a friend told me that being with her is a bad idea because of her attitude toward me are not so nice. yeah i think that is something that i need to think of. she didn't treat me well i admit that. hmmm well enough for me i guess but not like other girl. but she's not another girl. she is dee. the girl i was planning to spend the rest of my life with. God must have reason why He made us meet. but i haven't found the reason. oh God. i really need that reason now.... why after all this time i still spend some time with her? and why can't i just ignore her? or at least treat her as usual friend? i guess i need help with this. everytime i go out with her, i always making a list of things that i don't like bout her. and i found a lot of things that are nice bout her. actually she's not nice at all. yeah. SHE IS NOT NICE AT ALL. i should print this sentence is a big letter and put it in my room....... what a pathetic and a sad live i have.........

The Sinking of The Ark

now i'm talking bout my friends. this blog is gonna be soooo long. hehe. too many stories bout them.
i know my best friend while i'm in junior high. but we become best friend starting around senior high. and still friends till now. well thats from my point of view. don't know if it's from him. max is the name we'll use for him in this blog. another friend called Kay and Jay. they we're best friends from elementary school. the 4 of us become a very nice party. we hang out, spend useless time together. fight and argue bout so many thing but we always and us as a buch of guy that are still friends. untill one day........
max got another friend called Rey. they were friends and always together from junior high, senior high, and college. Rey said that one of his neighbour enter the same faculty with them.
the next day, Rey said that he saw a cute girl in campus. the third day he bring another stories. he said that the cute girl she saw in campus is his neighbour. and starting from that point, he start hitting on her. by the way, her nick name for this girl is Niq. she also have a full team of friendship. the member are Fleur, and V.
since the hitting session started, my team and the girls team are getting closer and start to bonding each other. by that time,me and V already got a lover. and the others aren't. it's very obvious that rey is hitting on Niq. and at the same time, Kay is also interested with Niq. so, they got a silent competition. (a silent competition is a competition that we aren't sure that the participant know that they are competing. thats according to my definition that i made up myself. huehuehe). and Max is interested with Fleur. time over time Rey got himself a girl. yeah, he had complished his mission on getting Niq to date with her. Kay had lost. and i guess he need a bucket to throw everything he fell. and Fleur is the bucket. one thing led to another, they Dated. but, few weeks before that, Jay start hitting on Fleur. at this time things are getting more complicated...........
knowing that the condition are complicated, i gathered them all in my place by sending the message "/hp" it means help for ragnarok. that night, we talk and drank and talk and argue and fight. that night ended with 2 of us bleeding and throw up for drinking too much. and max still said " I'm not drunk". stupid ebony bastard......

My Family

I have the best family ever. well, thats what i think. i guess everybody who is satisfied with their family would say that their family are the best family. so i guess i can conclude that you know that i''m satisfied with them. altrough i'm satiffied with them, my family aren't perfect. my parents divorced when i was a kid. then my father marry a widow with one son. and change his nationality to an australian. me, my mom and my only brother, continue our life in jakarta. strugle for a spoonfull of rice. but things have gone getting better and better. and here we are. my brother have merried with a fine woman. they have 2 cute daughters. usually they live in the same neighborhood with me. but for the last month, my brother got a job in australia. so, he's moving to australia. alone. and according to his plan, his family will join him in australia in the next 2 months. and continue to live there for a better life and opportunity. in the meantime, my mom just got back from the states for 4 months (3 months working and 1 months vacation). now she's here with me. doing nothing else then cooking, grocerie shopping, and connected to the internet. this kind of condition makes my family got no income. cause my mom's already retired and i'm not even graduate. this problem makes me learn not to have child after i'm 30. but i guess i'm gonna let that happend. haha.......

Prolog

Me, My self and I
I was born in the middle of a nice family by the first quarter of 1985. actually, i don't remember very much bout my early live. thats because i live normally just like a normal boy would be. except for the few thing that i'll tell you guys in my next post.

Now, I'm 21 years old. I live just with my mom. and I almost finish my studies for production and process engineering diploma. but i guess i'll continue my study to achieve my bachelor degree for the next 2 years. and someday i hope that i can die in a respectable way.